Goodbye 2019, Welcome 2020

What a year, what a decade.... So yeah... hi I'm still alive, but I am slowly falling apart (twisted my ankle by side-stepping air).
So I haven't been active on my blog for a year and yet I keep getting notifications that new people are following my blog. To those people hoping for a F4F, sorry to disappoint ya I'm not about that life.
2019 had been a bad year for me emotionally but I did manage to achieve most of my resolutions. Lets be honest I put the bar really, REALLY low. But hey, progress is progress no matter how small.
So I got a lot better with my small addiction and hatred for Instagram. I no longer spend hours on it scrolling mindlessly and comparing myself and my life to the fake posts. I do an occasional hour-long scroll but that's only once a month instead of almost every day. I also have the app hidden in a folder so I have to go through more trouble to open it.
The road to learning was bumpy, okay it still is but I got a lot better at it.I dropped Swe…

Resolutions for 2019

New Year, new chances and new motivation!

Last year I tried out Vlogmas and only uploaded 11 of the 24/25 days that I should. Also in 2018 I posted 14 times compared to 2017 where I posted 51 times.
I don't have Facebook and I mostly hang out on Instagram and Twitter. Those platforms give me enough interaction with people all around. But they also serve as an online photo album.
So this year I want to focus a bit more on how I interact online.

Conscious online presence
We all do that sometimes, we get sucked into the Insta vortex that has us scrolling for hours. Don't deny it, we all do it. But that causes me to procrastinate and lose time that I could've used t spend with my friends.

Get my learning on track
I bought two books to learn Swedish and I can't manage to learn it properly. It doesn't help that it's one of those languages where you write it in a way but pronounce it differently. But this year not more excesses and slacking off.

Keep my weight loss on t…

2018 in Review

It's been a long year, even when some parts flew by. It hasn't been my year and I've been spiraling into bad habits for years now. But I'm slowly understanding what I want to do in my life and how I should change my lifestyle without empty promises and hopes.
I wanted to lose about 20kg by the end of December 2018, and I lost about 8kg. And honestly I'm happy that in the last five months that I found a steady rhythm. As long as I keep it up, I'm sure that I'll reach my goal at some point.
I picked up drawing. After years of not creating it's hard, but I understand that I need to start from the basics again. I also got rid of a part of all the excess drawing stuff that I had so I don't get as overwhelmed as I did before when I reach for a maker.
I didn't pick up Swedish, but I did travel this year a lot more than what I'm used to. I think that these trips hold a value for me in experience and will help me with future travels.
I didn't ge…

Robin Hood

An old story in a new coat, sorry jacket. We all know this story, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. This one is packed with some great one-liners and some good action. Robin isn't after his love, even though he wants to, but he focuses on revenge, on doing the right thing. I think that this movie translates into recent events around the world and reminds us that even one spark can create a flame. And that if you don't stand up to fight, no one else will.
I recommend to see this movie in the cinema. It's a great one to see with friends or partner if you want to avoid the Christmas flood a bit longer.

The Crimes of Grindelwald

I love the Harry Potter world, I grew up reading the books and going to the cinema to see the movies. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is actually the first movie that I saw in the cinema with my mother and younger brother. So when the Fantastic Beasts and where to Find Them came out, I was over the moon. And even with my hopes high I wasn't disappointed.
I did lower my expectations for the second movie, but this time I left the cinema confused and not satisfied. I'll try to do my best not to spoil anything, but man did they screw it up. I love the visuals and the special effects, the look as breathtaking as always (and the 3D wasn't bad). But you can't have multiple plotlines in such a short story without any groundwork. Everything went in a flash because they had to squeeze three different movies into one. I went to see the movie for Newt and his beasts and Jacob Kowalski and Queenie. I did get a bit of the new beasts and a bit of Goldski (I'm not ca…

Bohemian Rhapsody

I don't believe anyone who says that they haven't heard a Queen song. Young or old we all stump and clap to 'We Will Rock You' and at some point sang along to 'Anotherone Bites the Dust'.
We all know about Queen and Freddie Mercury, and how it all came to an end. But how many of us know how it began?
The movie is a wonderful tribute to Freddie, his struggle with his ethnicity and sexuality. But it's also a tribute to the whole band, their struggle as a group to become legends and a family. It's difficult to write a review without giving anything away that might spoil you, but I guarantee that you'll love the movie. The whole theater laughed and cried and in the end sang along with Queen during the Live Aid. It's a movie for everyone who enjoys their music and a great bridge between generations. Rami Malek does a great job of bringing Freddie to live. And the performances of Gwilym Lee (plays Brian May), Ben Hardy (plays Roger Taylor) and Joseph …

All Alone

People often think that I'm an extrovert, because I'm the soul of the party when I go out. But I prefer doing things alone.
I love being left alone for hours on end so that I can do my thing, wether it's reading or cleaning or just spacing out while looking at the wall.

I also like to travel and shop on my own. It's not that I don't like hanging out with my friends, I actually love spending time with them. But my anxiety gets worse when I'm with someone. Maybe it's because I have to keep them in mind and that narrows the feeling of freedom.
My anxiety is triggered when I feel lost or closed off, without a way out. So when I have to think also of what someone else wants it gets a bit overwhelming. I panic that I'll lose them in the crowd, or that we will walk endlessly around a store ( like my mother used to force me to do when I was little).

But when I'm alone, I don't have to worry about all these things.
A store is too overwhelming? Fine, dro…